I want to light my farts on fire but they just won't light. Anyone able to help me?
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Three possibilities.
1) The light is too far away and the gas has dissipated before it gets there.
2) The light is too close and you blow it out
3) You are wearing heavy clothing that stops the gas coming out as a jet.
Note don't try lighting your farts from a bare backside. A thin layer of clothing acts like the gauze in a safety lamp and keeps the flame away from your skin.
At a guess, I'd say it's reason 3. Thick heavy jeans are a killer. Try light weight shorts. Then it is just a matter of getting the flame in the right place at the right time.
Lighting farts is a skill. Once you have the ability then you'll wonder why it was so hard in the first place. It is considerably easier to light someone else's farts so maybe that is a way to practice.
1) The light is too far away and the gas has dissipated before it gets there.
2) The light is too close and you blow it out
3) You are wearing heavy clothing that stops the gas coming out as a jet.
Note don't try lighting your farts from a bare backside. A thin layer of clothing acts like the gauze in a safety lamp and keeps the flame away from your skin.
At a guess, I'd say it's reason 3. Thick heavy jeans are a killer. Try light weight shorts. Then it is just a matter of getting the flame in the right place at the right time.
Lighting farts is a skill. Once you have the ability then you'll wonder why it was so hard in the first place. It is considerably easier to light someone else's farts so maybe that is a way to practice.
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They either don't have enough flammable gas in them, or the source of heat (a lighter, I assume) is too far away from the gas. You can fix it by changing your diet. I would think that "gassy" foods would create more flammable gas, beans and stuff.
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Because you're from another planet. I am your extra terrestrial father. On our planet, farts are made of water vapor.