I opened the refrigerator 5 times today and all 5 times the Philadelphia Cream Cheese tub fell out. After the 4th time I placed the tub in the back of the fridge. The 5th time I opened the refrigerator, I grabbed a Arizona iced tea can that I bought last night at 7-Eleven and the plastic bag it was in caught the cream cheese and it fell again. I really want a snack but I'm afraid to open the fridge, what should I do?
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Stand up for yourself, man! You don't have to put up with that.
You can't let condiments start pushing you around, or they'll walk all over you. Stride right up to the fridge and open it, grab that little cream cheese, put it on the counter, and lay down the law. If it keeps mocking you, no more dark nights next to the sexy mustard. You'll put it on a different shelf, either alone or (if necessary) next to that fat ugly ketchup bottle. If it keeps misbehaving after that, offer to let it make out with the ice cube tray for a couple of nights. Do that, and I'll bet your cream cheese will know who's boss in your kitchen.
But maybe it's not the cheese, so be careful. Maybe it's someone else, because people can be much meaner than cheese. I only suggest this because I caught my wife secretly trying to kill me with kitchen accidents several times. Like she'll ask me to get a plastic container out of the cupboard for her, I open the door and touch the container, and get buried in a Tupperware avalanche. Or she'll ask me to clear out the dishwasher, I'll open the pot drawer and my feet get crushed under a ton of of metal pots & pans.
Keep your eyes open, and be sure to assert yourself. And don't ever take no sh*t from cheese!
You can't let condiments start pushing you around, or they'll walk all over you. Stride right up to the fridge and open it, grab that little cream cheese, put it on the counter, and lay down the law. If it keeps mocking you, no more dark nights next to the sexy mustard. You'll put it on a different shelf, either alone or (if necessary) next to that fat ugly ketchup bottle. If it keeps misbehaving after that, offer to let it make out with the ice cube tray for a couple of nights. Do that, and I'll bet your cream cheese will know who's boss in your kitchen.
But maybe it's not the cheese, so be careful. Maybe it's someone else, because people can be much meaner than cheese. I only suggest this because I caught my wife secretly trying to kill me with kitchen accidents several times. Like she'll ask me to get a plastic container out of the cupboard for her, I open the door and touch the container, and get buried in a Tupperware avalanche. Or she'll ask me to clear out the dishwasher, I'll open the pot drawer and my feet get crushed under a ton of of metal pots & pans.
Keep your eyes open, and be sure to assert yourself. And don't ever take no sh*t from cheese!
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Set your refrigerator on fire. It is obviously haunted you must take as much lighter fluid as you can buy and burn the fridge to release the spirit from the cream cheese. Best of luck to you
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Have a Bagel!
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Must be a fat guy ghost. Lol. Crucifix cake? XD