A black widow spider is sitting on my stomach.. Please help

Okay this is no joke. I'm laying on the couch in my basement on my iPod and I feel something on my stomach. I sit up a little bit and flash my iPod over it and see a black spider. I know is the black widow because of the hourglass. I'm 15 and home by myself. I heard how dangerous these spiders are so I'm scared to move and barely breathing. Should I just brush it off FAST then make a run upstairs or do these things bite really quickly. I've been sitting here for 3 minutes. I'm surprised it hasn't moved yet. What do I do??

Try to gently get it off you, if you can. If it does bite you, it's not going to kill you. Deaths from black widow bites are extremely rare and occur in very old or very young people who do not seek treatment for the bite. If you feel muscle or chest pain, tightness in your stomach, nausea, etc. it could be from a bite. Once the spider is off of you, check your body to see if you find a bite anywhere, because black widow bites are often painless. It will look like two tiny red dots (like pin pricks). Even if you find a bite, it doesn't necessarily mean you will have a bad reaction to it. Clean it with soap and water and keep the location of the bite at level with your heart. Call the hospital or poison control center and follow what they say. Get your parents to come home and drive you to the hospital, unless you are having severe reactions to a bite, because an ambulance will be expensive.

Black Widow spiders aren't that dangerous to humans.

Grab a piece of paper or a card and gently slide it under the spider, then move the spider somewhere else.

Spiders don't bite people unless they feel threatened, so don't try to squash it.

Just hurry up and get up. You should be fine. If you se